Sexually Harassed

So I find myself with my new BFF at a club this past weekend.  We really needed to get out of the house and exercise so what better excuse to go dancing!  It also seconds as a means to temporary deafness, something that can come in handy when being a mother. ;)

So we enter the club, do the usual walk around and have drinks in our hand until we find the perfect song.  I look around and notice two glow in the dark smiles looking in our direction and immediately i knew we were in trouble. The smiles walked over with their impostor designer sunglasses on and thick accents.  We find out they are from Belize (or so they say) and right away they are very touchy feely.  I have been sexually harassed since the 2nd grade, and my defense mechanism is always to ignore the behavior (usually dogs give up if they're not being pet).   My BFF on the other hand, wasn't to accommodating.  Half-smiles and sharp words, she informed we weren't interested.  The men didn't catch on to quick, or found her words to be some sort of a challenge because the next thing you know, I get my hand strategically placed on a crotch.  Not wanting to give him the pleasure of too much a reaction, I simply say: "Yes, you have been well blessed,"   I grab my BFF and we quickly exit stage left.  "Where are you going? Our new friends scream."  "We'll find you later, I scream back."  Yeah right! 

Not sure whether to be disgusted or happy that at 41, I'm still in the game.

Fifty and Fabulous

So my 50 something friend recently got online and within 24 hours she had received over 100 contact requests.  This got me excited to go look at my profile, only to find my inbox empty.  So as she was going through her options, I noticed a trend amongst her suitors.  She had her pick of the recently divorced or the recently widowed.  I quickly realized that men my age are most likely still trying to work on their marriages because they  probably have small children to raise.  Men in their 50's usually have their kids raised, are sick of their first wife and ready to meet their new future ex wife.  Yeah, I'm a little bitter, mostly because I really don't want to have to wait another 10 years to start dating ;)