You Really Cant Teach A Dog New Tricks

I really cant be pissed, mad or upset. I was well warned, and by many many people. I also knew better, having my very own opinions, thoughts and feelings about this "dog," but I did it anyway. It's like when you tell a kid "don't touch that, its hot!" The hot iron is just too tempting, and begs to be played with. I must admit that there were fun times. This person is hilarious, and could actually keep up with the 15 year old adolescent male inside me (probably where his maturity level stopped developing). There was always some immature joke to share or laugh about. i realize now, it was a defense mechanism of his. Anyway, I thought I was such a cool girlfriend and a great sport, especially when he would "check out" good looking girls in my presence. Who else would put up with that? I really must have my shit together, because my girlfriends would have lost their minds, but not me..... Several weeks ago, Diesel and I (a code name, to protect his identity) went to Snowbird with another couple. While there we were in a club and he left unexpectedly and was gone for about 30 minutes. When he finally came back, he was with three women that he happened to "run into." He introduced them and said he worked with them. There was a live band playing and Diesel asks one of the girls to dance with him. The girl, feeling a little uncomfortable, asked me to come too, but I wanted to be the "cool" girlfriend and said "absolutely not," you two go have fun. After seeing her questioning me, Diesel then asked me to dance with them, but again, I refused to go...he obviously didn't want to dance with me, or he would have asked me first, right? The couple we originally came with couldn't believe that I would let my date dance with another girl, I just shrugged my shoulders, as I watched him lift her up on the dance floor and spin her around. After the dance was over, I saw him waving to me. I walked over to him and he pulls out his iphone and asked me if I would take a picture of him and her. "Absolutely!" By this point, the situation I was in was so ridiculous, I felt like i was in a family guy episode. I told them to smile, and Diesel, picks her up and she flings back her head and kicks up one leg. Diesel then stays on the dance floor long enough to post the picture on Facebook. About a week after getting back from Snowbird,I get a phone call from my secretary at work. She tells me "I think I just got asked out on a date by Diesel." My secretary is on the popular dating website Plenty of Fish (POF), is 10 years younger than me and lives in Weber County. My heart sank. I had been having red flags about Diesel and even discussed with him some of my concerns the previous Friday, but he had expressed his love for me in front of our mutual friends and i thought just maybe he was serious. I asked my secretary to take a copy of his profile picture and send it to me, just to make sure it was him. The next thing I knew, Diesels face is starting back at me, a fork and spoon in each hand and a bib around his neck. It was a familiar picture of him eating seafood at a restaurant. I told my secretary that yes, that was him. She asked permission to rip him a new ass. Of course I said yes. That would provide temporary satisfaction, but I knew it would be short lived. I never gave my heart to Diesel, Im in love with someone else and always will be, but I wanted to believe that someone loved me. I wanted to believe that maybe it was possible. But ultimately, I knew better. Several weeks have gone by now. Im finally in a place where I can feel sorry for Diesel. He desperately wants to be in love, yet will never find it because he cant be trusted. His self esteem is so low, he sabotages relationships. He flirts with every girl he meets in order to build himself up. People come in and out of our life for a reason and Diesel came into mine, to remind me that I cant change people, and the best prediction of future behavior is past behavior. If they have a history of cheating, they will most likely cheat again and its not my responsibility to fix anyone but myself.